Our clients frequently use this simple, yet extremely effective deep breathing exercise to reduce anxiety, panic, anger, and stress, to produce a relaxed state of peace and calm.

Exercise for calm and relaxation

Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose. Imagine you are smelling a flower, and it take you 2 seconds to take it all in.

Then, take a slow, steady breath out with pursed lips. Imagine you are blowing out 30 birthday candles, or blowing a dandelion, trying to get all the seeds.

When you breathe out, feel your lungs deflate and your belly push out. EMPTY YOUR BREATH. This is the important piece that will engage the parasympathetic system which is relaxation. You have the power to relax your system. Feel the breath move down your arms, legs, feet, and through the floor.

Repeat this 6-8 times.

It’s best to practice this when you body is relaxed, so when you need it, you are very familiar with the practice. In a system that is too activated and towards a panic, you can’t move right into deep breathing, you need to start with shorter, controlled breaths and work up to a deep one.

How it works: Here is a quick, simple lesson of how our emotional body works

In any moment, we can be in a situation that makes us feel anxiety, worry, frustration and anger, and many more. You instantly move from a place of calm, to an activated reaction. Without realizing what is happening, your body has detected a threat.

That extremely fast process is called Neuroception. This is a simple, yet complex process where our neural circuits determine whether a situation, person, place, etc., is safe, dangerous, or a threat to life. This process happens without our conscious awareness. It happens without our consent. Our body uses every situation we have experienced in the past (we never ‘get over‘ our past) and makes an instantaneous decision – am I safe or in danger?

If the threat assessment concludes danger – the sympathetic nervous system is activated.

What is danger? Danger can be seeing a bear in the woods. Danger can be looking at a photo of a dog for someone who has been attacked in the past. Danger can be sensing your partners emotions increase for someone who grew up with an explosive parent. Danger could be your son spilling a glass of water for someone who grew up with an angry, strict parent. Danger could be making a mistake for someone who grew up with a parent expecting perfectionism. Danger could be a dark street for someone who was attacked. Danger could be a certain smell for someone who was abused. The danger for you is whatever you have been exposed to in the past that created a message that this current situation is a threat. Danger could be being in a situation you can’t control when you rely on control to feel safe.

The sympathic nervous system activates/ mobilizes to combat the threat

Your system will decide for you, if the best option is to fight, flee, or freeze. Every organ in your body is activated for this response. Your heart rate increases, adrenaline and cortisol is released, your breathing becomes rapid, skin can flush or get hot, head can hurt, stomach can feel queasy, etc. All physical signs of activation.

In a healthy regulated system, your brain kicks in and analyzes the threat. Is there really danger or is my body just remembering something? When the brain detects safety, the Parasympathetic nervous system is engaged and all organs in your body relax.

A dysregulated nervous system

A dysregulated nervous system is when your body experiences repeated or excessive activation of your sympathetic nervous system, or extended conditions of traumatic stress. This could be excessive anxiety, panic, worry, frustration, anger, and stress. Examples could be anxious or angry wiring from childhood or exposure to excessive traumatic stress ‘on the job’ as our first responders may face regularly.

Deep breathing engages the parasympathetic nervous system decreasing the activation

The interesting thing about deep breathing is that the lungs are the only major organ in your body that you can control. So, if you body has determined the current moment is a threat, and you feel your heart rate increase and notice physical symptoms associated with the activation, you can control your breathing, through slow, deep breaths, and engage the parasympathetic nervous system.

This will put your body into a state of rest and relaxation, sending signals to your brain that you are safe.

Breathe with the intention of creating safety

So when you take those slow, long, deep breaths out tell yourself you are safe. Take control over your system. Imagine as you breathe out that you are draping a soft, comforting blanket over your body, in the same soothing way a child embraces a stuffed animal or a blanket. Once you learn the technique, take 8 deep calming breaths and notice how you feel afterwards.

For more information on this topic you can see the work of Peter Levine and Stephen Porges.

This is an excellent video explaining trauma in the body and how controlling your breathing changes the activation in your body and creates safety and calm. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=br8-qebjIgs.

Counseling services for anxiety, panic, OCD, excessive worry, stress, traumatic stress, chronic frustration and/ or anger

Thrive Counseling Center is located in Old Bridge, NJ and offers individual therapy, couples counseling, family therapy and group therapy for people experiencing distressing symptoms. Call us for a free consultation to determine is our services are a fit for what you need.

*disclaimer – this article is educational in nature and in no way take places of medical treatment or mental health treatment. If you are in need of services reach out to your medical provider or call us to schedule a consultation to determine if our services can benefit you.