What is the Lean-in Parenting Approach?
We lean-in to behaviors you may want to yell at or ignore, or avoid, because maybe you don’t understand them, or can’t tolerate them. We see behaviors as a signal that our child needs something, no matter what the age. There is no such thing as punishing an emotional reaction in a child who has never been given the means to grow through it. That would be similar to you getting a new job, and getting yelled at for breaking rules you didn’t even knew existed. Then being expected to learn something one time when it may take 20 attempt to understand.
Kids need consistent expectations that are reasonable, with goals set that they can grow into, and if they can’t, then maybe the structure needs to be re-assessed.
Our parenting approach is grounded on helping parents communicate with their kids in ways they may not how – because their parents didn’t know how either. Healthy communication can turn meltdowns and power struggles into moments of growth. Mental health challenges are passed down through the generations. If you didn’t have the opportunity to learn how to care for your emotional health, and what that even means, you may not know how to help your children. It’s not your fault – it’s an opportunity to learn.
All kids, even boys, have VALID emotions
There is no such thing as ‘be tough’, or ‘deal with it’, or ‘you’re over-reacting’. These statements are a pure signal that the parents doesn’t understand emotional development and may not be able to regulate his/her own emotions.
Our program teaches parents to lean-in to feelings and ask, “How are you?”, ‘what are you feeling’, ‘what do you need?”, how can I help you?”.
Kids need their emotions to be seen, understood, empathized with, and then they need help figuring out if they need to cope with the feelings or solve a problem. THIS – This is what sets children up for successful and happy lives.
Parents – does this sound too difficult for you?
You may have been raised by parents who were angry, always dismissing you, in-validating your feelings, only focusing on achievement and not your emotional experiences. Or neglect. Just absent parents who couldn’t help you understand your experiences as your developed. Are YOU anxious, depressed, stressed, or stuck in anger? This is why we have this group. To provide a space where your mind-set around what kids need can change.
Lean-in Parents! A Group focused on Emotional Growth and Development
This group is coming soon! July 2023. Call or text Thrive Counseling Center in Old bridge at 732-266-8994, or email info@thrivecounselingnj.com.