What can a parent do when they worry about their teen’s anxiety?

Parent’s, when you are worried about your teens anxiety levels, reach out to a therapist. Or your doctor. Don’t wait. What can start as a very treatable condition with some life changes, can turn to depression and hopelessness.

Sometimes kids do go through phases where something in their life is just too much, and resulting anxiety and depression are normal. Then that stressor is gone and things are normal again.

Sometimes kids are just wired more sensitively – called Highly Sensitive Children – and parents just need to learn how to parent these kids (come to therapy and we can help you).

Sometimes what is going in in your life is too difficult for your kids to manage and they need outside help to grow emotionally through it.

Sometimes the stressor isn’t temporary, it is always there. It could be school, relationships, your home, the way you parent, difficult life transitions, etc. In this case, when kids and teens have persistent anxiety, which can turn to depression, parent’s often miss crucial moments of emotional development by not seeking treatment for emotional struggles. What parents don’t know, is that when your child or teen is stuck for prolonged periods of time, struggling with depression and anxiety, that this can wire their emotional systems for life.

Why do parent’s leave emotional struggles of depression and anxiety untreated?

I have it too

I’ve heard many times that parent’s think anxiety and depression are normal because they have it too. Well – having up’s and down’s based on stressors and situations in your life, that you have coping skills for, yes. Persistent anxiety and depression that can cause other symptoms and make life more difficult – no. Anxiety and depression are treatable conditions.

Negative stigma

Yes, this is a big one. There is a stigma that seeking treatment from a therapist is ‘bad’, that there is something ‘wrong with you’. This needs to change. How is anyone able to change the emotional wiring in the body if they don’t get treatment? Just like we are waking up to many other narrative that need to change, this one needs to change. Denying mental health treatment for emotional development can handicap kids for their entire lives.

If my child hurts their knee while playing basketball, I go to orthopedist and get treatment to alleviate the pain.

If my child has a toothache I call the dentist.

If my child has a painful persistent sore throat, I call the doctor to get diagnosed and treated for an infection.

If my child needs to improve their SAT score, I hire a tutor or pay for an SAT class.

If my child wants to become a better soccer goalie to make the academy team, I hire a soccer coach or find a goalie camp to improve skills.

If my cheerleader or dancer wants to compete and live the competition life, I move mountains to make that happen.

If my child has persistent anxiety and depression, what do I do?

Do I treat it?

Do I ignore it and hope it goes away on it’s own?

If it doesn’t go away and symptoms result like school refusal, angry outbursts, decrease in friendships, bad grades, drug and alcohol addiction, do I continue to deny treatment to my child and then blame them for their behavior?

All the places that take insurance have a waiting list

That is true and this is a problem with the insurance companies refusing to pay a decent wage. It’s really only the large group practices that can carry large client numbers and absorb expenses that can afford to be in-network with insurance companies. They do have waiting lists. But it’s ok. Just get put on the waiting list. You can always find an out-of-network therapist as a bridge for immediate need until the wait list opens. Or, if you act sooner, rather than later, a wait list is just a wait list.

I can’t afford to go out-of-network

I hear you. It is an extra expense. Sometimes it requires forgoing that soccer coach, or that SAT tutor, or that competition in Florida. These are very difficult decisions to make.

Sometimes I’ll say to let your kid make that decision. Let them attend 3-4 sessions and then thoughtfully choose, If they find it helpful then may want to cut some other expenses to afford it.

Are emotions a big deal?

Yes. The developmental years wire the nervous system for life. Helping your kids understand how they feel, learning how to set boundaries, meet their needs, and create ways to manage and self-soothe their emotional systems set’s your child up for adult success.

So what do I do?

Call us. Call a different practice. Call 5 places. Just reach out and ask questions about services. Try a few therapists and let your kid pick who they feel a connection to. Emotional health and development is an investment that will last forever.

We, Thrive Counseling Center in Old Bridge, provide therapy services for kids, teens and families. Call us at 732.266.8994 or schedule a free consultation.