We’ve done our two weeks and now we have another 30 days? How are you surviving through COVID 19?
Whatever your answer is, it’s OK. We are all doing the best we can here. I’m sure there are parts of your experience the past few weeks that you are proud of, and feel accomplished of, and I’m sure there are parts of the past two weeks that you wish you could erase.
So where are you today? Its a new day, and a new day to take care of yourself. And if you don’t, tomorrow will be another new day!
If you live a life managing depression than you know that there is an important line to pay attention to. That line is where you have slipped low enough that you may not be able to come back up alone.
Depression is tricky that way. You need to learn how much you can depress, that is within your control, before you find yourself unable to move.
Sometimes you need to ‘go dark’ and stay in bed all day, or shut out the world. And maybe after you care for yourself this way, you are able to re-activate and do what you need to do.
It’s important to take care of yourself the best you can through this prolonged period of change.
The following are some tips that could hopefully help either during this COVID 19 crisis or any other prolonged period of difficulty in your life.
First, have compassion for yourself
Speak to yourself with compassion. It’s going to be OK. I’m going to be OK. I can get through this. It’s OK if I don’t do something I wanted to. One moment at a time. I’ll have good days and bad days and its OK. This is a stressful and scary time and it makes sense that I’m feeling it.
Do something that activates your system, every few hours (except while sleeping)
You want to activate your sympathetic nervous system. It’s responsible for mobilizing every organ in your body to support the task at hand. You may notice when you get into ‘flight’, ‘fight’, or ‘freeze’ mode that your heart rate increases, your breathing increases, your skin may flush, and your digestion speeds up. All of those physical responses are the workings of your sympathetic nervous system. When you are depressed, its your parasympathetic nervous system that is in overdrive.
Every few hours, active your system. You can walk 2 laps around your house, vacuum, take a shower, do 20 jumping jacks, watch a funny movie, listen to music that excites you rather than relaxes you, go for a walk, talk to someone, etc. It’s any movement or activity that will activate your system.
If you forget, set an alarm. Leave yourself notes. For example, on the bathroom mirror you can leave yourself a note to vacuum, or to go for a walk. Do these things, not because you want to, but because you have to.
Notice dark thoughts and negative thinking
There are many ways to see things and what often occurs with depression is negative self-thoughts. You can add a bunch of ANDs to your thoughts in a way that honors what you really feel and opens up the landscape at the same time. For example – You can say “I feel trapped at home” AND “I’m thankful that I have a safe space to stay in”. “I’m not sure I will survive this” AND “I’ve survived many times through situations where I didn’t think I could”. “I don’t want to get out of bed” AND “I do want to help myself”. “It’s too much to connect with someone right now” AND “I know it will be good for me”.
Can you choose which thought to follow?
Ask a ‘safe’ person to check in on you if he/ she hasn’t heard from you
A safe person is someone who enhances your life and helps you, and has compassion for you. If you live with this person, maybe you can ask him/her to pay attention to you and check in on your self care for the day. If you live alone, have someone reach out twice a day and yes, you need to answer your phone. Or set a schedule for you to reach out and if you don’t, that person can check in on you.
Pay attention to warning signs that the depression is sinking too low
These are unique to everyone but a few examples could be: Shutting off your phone to avoid calls, not showering, not making your bed, not feeding your pet, noticing dark thoughts.
Make a list of YOUR warning signs and post them a few places in your home. You can course correct as long as you catch the signs fast enough, before you go too dark.
Make a list of self care and ways to activate that work for you
Self care is very important on a daily basis, and extremely important now that we are stuck at home. It is very easy to wake up late and skip breakfast, for example, or not to shower and wear your bed clothes all day long. This alone can increase depression. Make sure to create a routine. Wake at the same time every day. Shower, eat. Wake up enough before you start your work.
Make a master list of ways that you care for yourself that work. Post that list next to the warning signs. Check in with yourself a few times each day. Where am I? Am I slipping down too far?
Reach out for help if you need it
Contact a therapist if you don’t already have one. If you feel you are a danger to yourself, call 911 or go to the nearest ER. You can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741 to connect with a real human. You can can also call the NJ Hope Line at 855-654-6735 or go to their website here. http://www.njhopeline.com/
This article is for psychoeducational purposes only. It is not therapy and should not be used as a replacement for treatment from a licensed health or mental health professional.
Depression Counseling in Old Bridge, NJ
If you are seeking counseling to help you with your depression, we are accepting new clients via phone or video sessions during social distancing. Reach our by phone at 732.266.8994 or send us an email to info@thrivecounselingnj.com to inquire about services.